This is going to be a long vent. And the insomnia part, well... I've been waking up at 3:30am the past few mornings and I have been unable to fall back asleep.
I have been extremely stressed for the past few days, and it has been affecting my health. Over the past few months, I have noticed that my blood pressure has been a little bit high. Not too bad, but since I have had problems in the past and had to be on medication, it's something that I always take note of. When I was at the RE for my initial consultation, my BP was pretty high. It averaged around 160 over 115 in the 3 times that they took it over 1 hour and 45 minutes. So off to my primary care doctor I went. I was put on methyldopa, which is a pregnancy safe anti-hypertensive.
I have a home monitor for my BP, and have been tracking it every few days over the past few weeks. It had been slowly but steadily decreasing, and had finally arrived at a place that was much more healthy. Approx 120 over 85.
Then Sunday happened. Perhaps someday I will explain all of the details of my relationship with the director of the dance studio (whom I call crazycakes), but today is not the day. I need to stay calm. Suffice it to say, she is a control freak who throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get her own way. And since we have a personal relationship (her sister is my long time best friend), she continually tries to take advantage of me. Well, she threw a temper tantrum at me on Sunday, in front of some of our teenage students and their mothers. I have seen this side of her many times, so it didn't surprise me. But the others were completely floored because they have never seen an adult act that way.
Ok, I have to stop writing about it. I can feel my blood pressure rising.
Deep breath.
Since Sunday, my blood pressure has been running high. And my pulse has also been extremely high. I have an appt with my doctor on Thursday morning and I am going to discuss my stress and how it is affecting my health and potentially the health of my baby. I have a meeting with the director, her father (who is the president of the studio), and two other instructors. She demanded that we have a discussion about Sunday, and I told her that the only way that it was happening was if her father and the 2 instructors were there. Not negotiable, or all three of us were quitting. She would probably lose 2/3 of her business if we left, and she's barely staying afloat as it is. So she listened and complied.
So I am in this place right now where I am not sure if I can continue doing this. I love what I do. I love my students. But I can't put myself and my baby at risk. I know that this will never stop, because she is never held accountable for her actions. The only possible way to make her change her behavior is for her father to know how she behaves. He holds the purse strings. She has never had a job that he hasn't bought for her. But if he realizes how poorly she is running his business and how she might lose it all, he might actually listen. It's a long shot, but it's the only chance I have to continue doing what I love, but maintaining my health.
The worst part is that she knows about my miscarriage in January, she knows that I am pregnant again, and she knows that I have been having blood pressure problems. And she considers herself my friend.
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